Greetings everyone! I know it's been far too long (much longer than I was expecting to be on hiatus), but I am getting ready to start this thing up again!

A few things have happened since I last updated here. I turned 25, visited New York City for a second time, got a raise and promotion at my lab, and I started a brand new medication for my remission. Oh, and to top it all off, my fiance and I purchased our first home! We've worked hard on it and it's wonderful. Now we've earned a break to relax.

I feel some type of explanation is in order for this extended absence, so I will try to tell you what I can without going into too much personal detail. Unfortunately, this experience can be all too familiar to those with Crohn's disease and Colitis, especially during initial diagnosis.

Earlier this year, I lost two friends due to many reasons, one of which named was my disease. There was some misunderstanding as to how it affects my day to day life while others thought it was something that I blew out of complete proportion. Maybe for attention. I couldn't tell you why. I never understood the reasoning because I knew it was lie. In the end, my personality and condition were attacked and used against me. I was told I lived my life through my Crohn's and the ending of the relationships were my fault.

I never responded to the accusations and cut off all ties with those people. The truth is the whole situation made me feel...well, dirty. I felt guilty for having this disease and I didn't know how to hold and present myself with it for a while. The confidence I had in myself was shot down and I became uncomfortable with how it defined me. I stressed out and flared up for a bit. I spoke to a counsiler a few times to sort out my thoughts. My primary care physician put me on Cymbalta for anxiety.

Needless to say, I hit a point of depression. I decided the best thing to do for the bit was to just give myself a break. I did what I could to not put stress on my illness and just try to forget about it. Thus explains my hiatus from my journal.

Now if you think this story has a sad ending, you are greatly mistaken my friend!

Following this hitting of rock bottom, I discovered what true friends were. People rallied behind me in all forms and helped me pick up (slowly, but surely) and remember that everything I've done in concern with my disease (from medication, hospital stays, to the establishment of this journal) I've done to better the world around me, which was my intention in the first place. People sent me messages of hope, visited me when I was at my lowest point, and listened to me cry and rant when I thought I couldn't handle myself anymore. These people have been with me for years and have proven that they will be there for years to come. They know who they are, and if by some chance they are reading this, I can only tell them that I love them very much and their support has meant the world to me.

During this time of re-growth, Dr. Quallich started me on Humira injections. I reported on it briefly in the beginning, but never really gotten into the heavy details about it. I will save that for later entries. But to say the least, I have been in remission for months and I have not felt this healthy since before I was diagnosed. I am feeling stronger, more patient, and I'm back to eating almost anything I want...save for the popcorn because no matter what, it tears up my insides.

Now that life is finally starting to settle down, "the Life of the Potty" is open once again for business. I'm excited to be back and researching, advising, and taking more steps towards a cure, rather than in the opposite direction.

My grand lesson here is this my friends:

Some people will just never understand how you feel, whether emotionally, mentally, or physically. You can be sick or perfectly healthy and no one can know everything you are thinking. Why? Because they are not you. And when the time comes to choose whether to help yourself or to please others, I hope you remember to take care of yourself because being a people pleaser isn't all it's cracked up to be when at times your life is at stake. And as negative and down as this can sound, I want you to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...

...once upon a time in a separate incident, another friendship broke up because of my diagnosis. And you know what? That person came back, took the time to listen to me explain what was happening, and now we're rebuilding our friendship with patience and understanding around this disease. It can be done, and I hope that this can be your fate too down the line.

Looking forward to being back on here again. Best of health always everyone!

Hello everyone.

Today marks the offical two year anniversary that I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I remember waking up in the hospital after a colonoscopy and Dr. Quallich explaining to me what Crohn's disease was. I had never heard of it before that day and had no idea what I was in for.

The first year went by without barely a hitch. But this past year put me through the ringer. I was in the ER a grand total of five times. I was admitted twice. I have been on a mix of many different drugs trying to get my system to settle and be stable once again. Unfortunately, some of these drugs did just the opposite and made my system react even more.

After about 10 months of playing this game, I am glad to report and I'm finally on an upswing. I haven't had a textbook definition of a flare up since just before Christmas and I am finally on medications that are working quite well with my system.

With as hard of a year I've had, I pale in comparison to some of the stories out there. I have met or talked with a number of people with a range of symptoms who suffer from Crohn's disease. One lady I've met just had a baby six months ago with a mild case of Crohn's. Through the pregnancy, she only took one medication four times a day. On the other end of the spectrum, I've known a woman for about a year and a half who was misdiagnosed for twenty years before her disease was found in her upper colon. Originally, doctors thought she was suffering from a form of cancer. After the Crohn's were found, she had surgery to remove part of her intestines. She was fine for about ten years, but is now having trouble with frequent flare ups. Another surgery is in the near future for her.

Both of these women are mature adults. Unfortunately, this disease is quite common in children. That's one reason why I ran the Guts & Glory Walk last September. Next month, I am once again running in the Take Steps Walk to raise money and awareness for Crohn's disease.

The money goes towards education, information, and treatment for children who are diagnosed with Crohn's. Some of the funds also go towards running a day camp for children with Crohn's, Ulcerative Colitis, and IBD.

I will be registering for the walk this weekend. My humble request, my friends, is if you can spare it, please donate a few dollars to this great cause. If not for my sake, but for the sake of the children that are so young that they can't understand what is happening to their bodies. Even $5.00 will help in this fight against this incurable disease.

I will have a donation link and more information soon.

Lastly, on this solemn day for me, I would like to thank all of those who have really been there for me during these two years. My beloved fiance Peter, who has been there for me physically, mentally, and financially. You will never know how much I love and appreciate everything you have done for me. I can not wait to be your wife. My mother and father for the parental support and the motivation to keep going in my fight ahead. Kellie, for taking all the phone calls and talks where I bitch and moan in stride and always being there to help me calm down. Patti, Mike, and Becky, for visiting me in the hosptial and "babysitting" me when I needed the company. Ben for all the phone calls and meals of junk food when I was finally able to have it again. Stacey for the game nights when I had to stay in. And my extended network of friends, family, and LJ-ers who have given me such good vibes and well wishes. They have always meant the world to me and made me smile when I was down and feeling really out of it.

All the best and good health to everyone.

My love always,

Adrianne

Hey guys. I'd hate to say this, but "The Life of the Potty" is going on hiatus for a bit. I've run into a few technical difficulties lately in the line of personal problems. This is why I haven't updated lately, and I realized that I need a bit of a break from this. I hope this doesn't make anybody feel put out. That is not my intention in the least. I will hopefully be back on within a month, but if you need to reach me, you can still email me at ihavecrohns@gmail.com.

Take care everyone!

Hello all! I know it's been a bit, but I wanted to keep you all updated on my current condition. So far, all is well. I started the Humira and all went well, but I wanted to share some information with you that I picked up on my journey to this state.

The big thing is I discovered the reason why the Remicade was rejected by my body. It lies in what DNA makes up the medication. Both Humira and Remicade are drugs that are given by some form of injection. Humira through a shot, Remicade through IV infusion. But the make up has one big difference, besides the amounts that are given in a dose. Humira is made entirely out of human DNA (which you can guess from the name). Remicade, however, is made out of human DNA and mouse DNA. Yes. Mouse, as in mice.

As you can guess, my body rejected the mouse DNA and this is what triggered the allergic reactions. As you know, I'm now off of the Remicade and Humira is the new routine.

The first dose was actually a lot easier to take than I thought. Now that I have my first dose (four injections) behind me, I realize it's not as traumatizing as I thought it would be.

I'm not going to lie. When the medicine went in, it stung. It hurt quite a bit. But this was the drug going into the skin, not the needle. The needle was actually very fine and I barely felt it as it went in. Let's put it this way. As the first injection was going in, my reaction was somewhat like this...

"Hey, this isn't so bad...oh that stings a bit...oh ow, ow, oww, oww, OWW!"

Once the needle was out, the stinging subsided. But now I know what to expect, it's no big thing. I can numb the injection area with an ice pack first and it helps the bring down the stinging of the drug. I have no qualms about doing my next set of injections myself in two weeks. I haven't had any negative reactions to the Humira either. Not even the bit of a flu bug which my nurse said might show up. The only reaction I've had is this...


A bruise from one of my injection sights. Not too horrid.

So all in all, the transition to Humira has being going rather well. I wish I had more to report, but this is pretty much it for the moment. Until next time everyone, take care!

The past couple of days have taken a stressful toll on me. I'm not going to lie and say I'm okay, because the downright truth of it is I'm not.

Being taken off the Remicade has left me tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. Since last May, I've been battling with my body to get into a long term remission, and right when I think I have it, I lose it. It's getting downright depressing. I'm trying to stay confident, but the blunt truth of it is it can be really hard sometimes. How do you keep upbeat with a disease that effects your everyday life, knowing there is no cure, and that you will never reach "normal" again?

That was the thing I discussed with a friend today. She pointed out that there may never be a "normal" for me again. There is no cure for Crohn's disease, so "normal" is extinct (unless a cure if found in my lifetime, which I still hope and pray for). She said that maybe I should try getting used to a "new normal". I wouldn't want to think of it as a "new normal" though.

I like to think of it as reaching "stable". "Stable" is the goal. I had "stable" for a bit with the Remicade. For the past few months I've been feeling so good on it. I had energy and very little pain. I was feeling so upbeat. Now I'm not able to be on it due to the allergy. I'm back to square one.

I guess my big fear right now is not being able to get that with the Humira. I've been reading up on it a bit. It sounds like it has a great success rate for those with rheumatoid arthritis. Another friend has a mother who uses it for R.A. and just raves about how well she's done. And the numbers so far with Crohn's have been good. But it's still so new. Humira's only been approved for Crohn's for about a year. And lately, there's been that factor of the least likely thing happening always happening to me.

So maybe I'm just giving these un-rational fears now. I haven't even tried a single dose of the stuff yet. Maybe it's because I'm in pain right now and I'm expecting it to get worse. I know that's not a way I should look at it. Maybe my best course of action right now is to get all of my questions ready, say my prayers, and hope for the absolute best.

Humira in. Remicade out.

Today is what I consider a great big negative in my Crohn's disease treatment.

The short of it is I'm off of Remicade permanently.

The long of it is I had an allergic reaction (the third one) to the IV infusion. Some of this is pretty scary and traumatizing, so for the sake of argument, I'm going to put part of this story behind a cut.

( The Drug Reaction )

The results of all of this are that I'm going to be put on Humira injections instead of Remicade from now on. Remicade is a bio-product with medications that are foreign to the body. My body obviously is rejecting all of this. The Humira is all human-produced product, something that will seem more familiar to my body. It's a self injection, but after all of the IV's, I think I'll be able to handle it.

The first day I take four shots. The second week I take one, then ultimately, it becomes a bi-weekly shot that I perform myself.

I'm trying to remain open to all of this, but at the same time I'm disappointed. Yes, the Remicade has been a pain and I'm allergic, but once I got it settled into my body, the results were fantastic. That comfort will be missed. The allergic reactions will not, obviously.

So in conclusion, the score is as follows...

ER: 5.
Me: 0.

Back to the drawing board.

It's been a rough couple of weeks, I'm going to be honest. Besides battling the flu on and off and having to deal with some personal issues (which I'm sure effected how well I was feeling this week), I've also had to play phone tag with Dr. Quallich's office because I wasn't so sure what was going on with my disease at the time.

About two weeks ago, I started getting these leg cramps. At first, it felt like I had simply over-stretched myself while doing yoga or bending over. But within a couple days, it got worse. A lot worse. I was to the point where I felt the entire lower half of my body start crackling. Tylenol wouldn't kick it anymore, so I had to use a dose of Vicodin each day to relieve everything. This left me feeling drowsy the whole day at work (I never took it while on the road, in case you're wondering). I couldn't lay down without feeling the pain intensify. Not on my back or my side. I couldn't explain it.

I had no idea what could be causing this. I went to the chiropractor and it worked to no avail. This scared me. Finally, my friend Tona suggested that maybe it was a symptom of needing another Remicade infusion. That's when it hit me that nurse Stephanie said that my body would have it's own way of telling me when it was time to get another one. Sure enough, after a weekend of phone tag, the new Remicade appointment got set up for this coming Monday.

Apparently, the cramps that I experience usually happen in the hips, but this is quite logical as well. I have to pick up my scripts for the steroids this afternoon so I don't have an allergic reaction once again.

Since then, the leg cramps have passed, although I will say they are just a slight bit uncomfortable at times. I can tell my gut is getting a bit unsettled now too. I've had some pinching pains this week, one of which almost sent me home. It's bubbling. I'm having soft bowel movements, but (knock on wood) no sign of blood. I've been watching my diet strictly and have been trying to stick to the low residue diet. Plain meats and cooked vegetables mostly. I've been drinking vitamin water and juice to keep myself hydrated. I've given up soda for Lent (I am Catholic) and I'm hoping to keep it that way even after Easter. This shall be hard as Coca~cola is one of my all time favorite drinks.

So all and all, I'm just sitting back and waiting for Monday. I have a baby shower to attend to tomorrow, but other than that, I'm just taking it easy until my appointment to be infused. Not a lot of energy will be expanded, save for some house cleaning. I'm about a month and half without a flare up. This is a record for me as of late. Let's see how long this can go!

Until next week, good health to everyone!

There's days when you have to know when you've reached your limit. That happened to me this weekend.

On Saturday morning, Peter and I went back to our old college town to visit our friends. We hung out, had a fabulous dinner, and played pool until about midnight. Sunday morning I woke up with sore legs and some stinging in my back. We were supposed to go out to lunch with another friend, but based on my progress lately, we decided that it would be in my best interest to head home early.

And that's what we did. I got home with a pounding headache, so I headed straight to bed for the rest of the afternoon. I woke from my nap feeling nauseated and dizzy. I was in and out of it for the rest of the night until I finally went to bed.


Peter snapped this of me with one of our cats, Lovie, as I was completely out of it last night.

I woke up this morning with quite a few bowel movements. No blood, but based on the nausea and dizziness, I figured a check up with the doctor would probably be in my best interest. I ended up going to an urgent care doctor not too far from my apartment this morning.

The good news: I was right and it has nothing to do with my Crohn's disease.

The bad news: I have a nasty flu bug. I'm not on antibiotics, but I am on two medications to keep the nausea down until this thing passes on it's own. I have a doctor's note so I could be excused from work today, and I'm doing when I did last night. Sack out and rest my body.

My big worry now is I haven't taken my Crohn's medication yet today and it's nearly 1:00. I'm worried about taking too many meds at once on an empty stomach. I figure that would make it more upset to begin with. I haven't vomited yet through this bug and I'm going to do what I can to prevent that. Oi.

Here's hoping I'm on my feet and a-okay tomorrow. I can't take this no more. One thing after another.

Over the past week I've had an email correspondence with a person I'll refer to as "Kelly" (the person requested that I keep them anonymous for personal reasons).

Kelly has been having trouble with her Crohn's disease for quite some time. Over the past few months, she has been rapidly losing weight. Prednisone hasn't helped her, so she was admitted to the hospital for IV fluids and steroids. She also was scheduled to have a colonoscopy. In the end, the IV steroids did not help and CT scans revealed that the disease had spread after just under three months of prednisone. Her short stay and quick fix in the hospital quickly became a week long ordeal.

Her doctor ended up putting her on azathioprine (Imuran), but the major problem was the medication wouldn't kick in fully for a few months. According to Kelly's doctor, with the rate that she was losing weight, she wouldn't survive the few months it would take for the medication to kick in.

Her other option was Remicade. But Kelly had some concerns with the infusions.

Kelly is a medical student herself. But as all people on Remicade know, the infusions totally knock out your immune system. With her system shot, going around and studying/treating other sick patients would be very risky for her health. Plus with her busy studying and work schedule, the infusions would prove to be a time inconvenience.

With all these concerns on the table, the ultimate decision was to put Kelly on both medications temporarily. She would receive three Remicade infusions to boost her system while her body also got used to the doses of azathioprine. It was actually convenient for her to start the Remicade in that she had recently had a TB test for her classes.

As of today, Kelly returned home, stable and feeling pretty energized from her first dose of Remicade. She is resting comfortably and is anxious to get back to her classes.

It's moments like this when I'm glad I started this blog. Everyone has a different way of dealing with their Crohn's disease and how they respond to the medication. Kelly is a classic case of this. My body responds so well to prednisone. To hear that she was getting worse by the day on it made me feel so down-hearted. Everyone to their own devices I guess. You never know what to expect when dealing with your body.

On that note, I'd like to make a recommendation.

My mother picked up a book for me called Strong at the Broken Places by Richard Cohen (some may know him as Meredith Viera's husband). The author is a survivor of colon cancer, and his book chronicles five people from different backgrounds, each battling a chronic disease. One young woman by the name of Sarah has been battling Crohn's disease since she was four years old.

I admit that I skipped ahead in the book and I'm a bit more than half way through her chapter. Her story is one of suffering and triumph. It's amazing to read how far she's come and it puts my own story in perspective. I highly recommend you check out this book to open your mind and put yourself in a place where you can make peace with your Crohn's.

It's a hard task, but we can all be the better for it. Good health and good 'morrow friends.

Well, it's been a long week, but I had a great day with my family celebrating my cousin's 25th birthday, and now I have some time to sit back, crack open a soda, and do a little house cleaning around here.

If you're checked out my profile page today at all, you'll see that I've added a new link. I've gotten a few emails asking some pretty varied questions, so I figured the time had come to establish a Frequently Asked Questions page. On there you will find (what else) answers to some questions I get quite often, as well as some insight to my life that doesn't necessarily have to do with my Crohn's disease.

I'm also going to redo the background of the journal. Nothing is really hitting me with any type of flare here, so I think I may move up to a paid account soon to get something that really speaks to me. Plus I'll get more icons. Ha!

One major thing I am going to change is I will no longer allow comments to be left freely on my journal here. Sad, but true. Here is the reasoning for this. There have been a few random advertisements for Crohn's related things left on the comments. And while it is okay to spread the word about new sites and stuff, as the maintainer of this journal, I feel it is my responsibility to make sure that the information posted is safe and accurate before it is seen by my viewers. But, please keep in mind that even though I have closed off commenting here, I would love, love, love to get your comments, opinions, and other information. Please simply email them to me at my web address: ihavecrohns@gmail.com.

I'm hoping to start doing some offical banners for the journal and I want to get some business cards made up soon. People are starting to ask questions and are curious, and handing out a business card is always a lot easier (not to mention more elegant) than grabbing a napkin and a pen from somewhere and jotting down a random web address. As for the banners and photos, I would like to go out and take some nice pics in the surrounding Detroit area, but if you've been watching the Weather Channel at all, it's been bitterly cold here. So that may be on hold unless I get some creative ideas for inside. This could result in some spiffy new icons as well.

Now onto the real reason why I update. Crohn's disease!

This week hasn't been too bad for me, but there are still a couple of things that have me confused. I think the biggest thing is after all of my progress and such, I think I may have seen a bit of blood yesterday. I know, I know. It never ends, right? Here's the thing...

I have really, really been watching my diet lately. What I eat and how much of it I put into my system. Everytime I start to feel full, I wrap up the rest and save it for later. Ever since I have started doing that the discomfort fom my system has faded dramatically.

But yesterday, still, it looks like there's a bit of blood.

I base that this is normal off of two things. One, on Monday I had my last dose of prednisone due to my small flare just before the holidays. I'm guessing the change in the chemical balance in my system caused a little upset, but nothing to cause alarm. The second (sorry guys, but this is a TMI female function alert) is that the week before my period, my system becomes sensitive and acts up a bit, no mater how careful I am.

It wasn't a dramatic amount. But still, it's there, and it has me concerned. I also wonder if it's because my system was backed up and I hadn't had a movement in two days. It happens from time to time with my system, so that part of it didn't seem out of the ordinary. Maybe things just got a bit irritated.

I've been sticking with the yoga for the passed few weeks, and I have to tell you...I feel really good with it! I can feel myself toning and dropping a bit of the extra weight the medications have put on, and oh man. It just feels so dang nice to move. I highly recommend it to everyone out there. There are a few moves out there that just stretch out your inner system, and you can just feel your digestive tract go, "Ah! Now that felt good!"

Alright all. I think that's it for this week. Keep your eyes open for more updates and upgrades on this page and I shall keep you updated on more information soon! Until next week, good health and good love!